A few days ago I posted something about being a good father. One of the reasons I enjoy watching men being good fathers is because it gives me a visual of what a real man is supposed to look like. I haven’t seen too many examples of good fatherhood. You might ask what about my own father? Well, it’s not that my father hasn’t been around, it’s me who hasn’t been around. I went to boarding academy when I was thirteen and haven’t been home for long periods of time since then. I remember spending time with my father before then but being sent away from school really challenged and changed the dynamic between my father and I.
I feel this has really effected my development. I’m 24 and not really near the man I hoped to become or planned to be. Sometimes when I look at other guys I feel as though they know something about being a man that I don’t. I appreciate my parents sending me to boarding school but I can’t help but feel that maybe my father didn’t show me all there was to being a man. How can he? He only had thirteen years to work with. a couple of days ago I was taking with one of my friends about who we want to be vs. what we think God wants us to be vs. what God actually wants us to be. For me this journey of trying to be a man coincides with what God wants me to be.
I am looking to God to give me the answer. It might sound silly to you but I feel figuring all this out by myself is nonsense. I need God to help me out, after all He created us, He should know what we’re supposed to be like. I’ll be asking my dad and other men that I look up to what they think about the subject.